she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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