I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
