I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
