ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
