I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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