hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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