I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
