He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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