saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
