sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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