:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
