After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
