he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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