i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
