she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize