First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
