cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
