That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
