I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
