Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
