careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
There are leaves in my underwear?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
