Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
