i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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