I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My dick has a subreddit
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
