I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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