How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
