I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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