Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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