office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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