So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
should my penis look like a turkey
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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