Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
A+ Viking dick
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
