U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize