I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
