my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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