I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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