i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I have already put on my inside pants.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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