Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize