sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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