Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
