She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
