watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
