Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
