Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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