he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
