I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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