I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
