why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
