you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize