erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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