Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
