i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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