using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
