i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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