You made me cry and you don't even care
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize