my being single is dangerous.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
