Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
