My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We have started to decorate penises.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
