i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
