I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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