I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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