Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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